My Company Contact

I have a problem with my cell number ... my company contact ... if u will ..

In the beginning, for almost a month I used my personal mobile for work purposes .... I had put a request for a laptop and a company mobile ... I didn't get the laptop :(

A guy quit from our department and his cell was handed to me ... I was relieved cuz it was actually costing me quite a bit to make those official calls ... I turned on the cell and a shower of sms came pouring in ... most of them were ads of malls, mobile companies etc. but then i started receiving calls from banks Saudi British Bank, Saudi Fransi Bank, Saudi American Bank .... and those stupid Saudis .... they cant speak English ... so every single time the conversation goes like this:
Him: asalamualaium
Me: walaikum assalam
Him: ustaz muhammad (Sir Muhammad)
Me: muhammad min? (Muhammad Who?)
Him: muhammad talha kan (its Khan actually)
Me: indak rakam ghalat (You have the wrong number)
Him: ana asif (I Am Sorry)

Now you would be thinking why dont I explain the complete thing to them ... well I have ... I have tried myself and my Arab friends have also tried .... but I dont know they have like a 15 minutes conversation and the next day that same stupid voice ... I dont pick up most of the time ... I have even talked to the guy "Talha" and asked him to please spare me of this misery ...

But then one day I received a call from England and a lady with the sweetest voice was asking for Muhammad Talha Khan ... at first i thought i should say "Yes Speaking" but I enquired what was it about ... it was work so I deemed better not meddle with it. I explained everything and offered if she wanted his new number ... " That would be very nice of you, Sir" ... ufff ...

Then one day i received a call from Dubai ... it was a Hilton Hotel rep ... so I took full advantage ... You know how these reps work ... Chamme Style .. She was like a robot ... You can have this membership .. you can have that suite ... you can have a special honeymoon package ... and I was just playing along ... "Yeah my wife is quite a moody person and we already have had our honeymoon" " Where?" "Switzerland" .... I even got her cell number ... and promised to call her right away when I and my wife come to Dubai next time ... huh!!

Another day I was coming back from work and was in a bad mood ... and this unknown number was bugging me ... maybe its someone i know ... so i answered .... and he went
Him:"Kaisa hai bay!!"
Me:"Kaun?"
Him:"Acha ab hamain bhi bhool gaya"
Me:"Kis say baat karni hai aap ko?"
Him:"Talha ?"
Me:"Main Talha nahe hoon"
Him: "Yar Talha mazak mat kar"
Me: "Meray tone say aap ko lag raha hai keh main mazak kar raha hoon?"

Now I am so relieved that my company number is blocked because of my over-the-limit usage.

How Arabs Eat

Have you ever seen an Arab eating rice ... ofcourse u haven't ...

Having worked among Arabs Egyptians, Saudis, Yemenis, Palestinians etc. for almost a year now i have gone for lunch with them many a times ... and i found their way of eating, rice in particular, very strange .. we all know its according to the Sunnah to eat with your right hand and there is one Hadith which says to eat in small bites, if i am not wrong ..

They are ok with the first part but small bites ... no ... either i am wrong or they havent heard of this Hadith ... they dont eat using their fingers .. they use the whole palm of their hand... what we eat in three bites .. is one bite for them ... and the strangest thing is , its common in all Arabs

I went out with a Saudi guy, he had studied in London and spoke English fluently, which is very rare here, and he dressed nicely and evrything ... but when he started eating.. it was like he is eating for the last time .. i mean .. it was totally barbaric ...

The Problem with my Name

Its a trend in India and Pakistan to name a kid with Mohammad in the beginning.... like mine Mohammad Mustafa ... I dont know the reasons behind it... and i dont want to get into them... but i have been through a lot of troubles due to this ...

When i applied for a driver's licence i thought it will be an easy process... first i had to get a letter from my sponsor ... my dad... who is under the sponsorship of his company. It took a week. Then attach a copy of your Passport, Iqama (Resident Permit) with this document... and if u have a license of any other country attach that too.

Ok upon reaching the department who deals with this stuff "Dallah" the first thing was to fill out a form IN ARABIC .... which was taken care of by some guys for a low price. The building is huge and the cabins are marked with numbers. So number 1 was for checking that all the documents are complete and put a stamp. Number 2 was for Translating Your License i.e. if its not in Arabic and the nice guy who thought he was Justin Timberlake cuz he could speak English took 100 Riyals for this job.

Number 3 was for Medical ... I got my eyesight checked and nothing else... Thank God.. and the so called doctor wrote Mafrood Addasa meaning Glasses Necessary. Number 4 was Registration and Fee .... for first timers the fee was around 350 ... that was done.... the last window was Number 5 behind which smartly clad Shurtas (Cops) were sitting ...

My turn came ... i submitted the documents ... and just after a few moments that bearded guy murmered something... what?... Ta'deel Ism ... Change your Name ... WTF!! ... why? .... the names on your passport and iqama dont match ... my name on my iqama was starting with Mustafa .... It was those crazy Saudis own fault .... deep sigh ..

I told my dad what the problem was ... and he knew right away there is no easy solution to this...there is a position in every company here for these sort of jobs... its called Mandoob ... Its his job to get exit and re-entry visas ... renew iqamas etc. Until not long ago ... i thought "Mnadoob" was the person's name ... silly me...

so this guy called me and took me to the Jawazat (Iqama Dept), then the Investigation Dept for my Fingerprints ... then after two months of waiting the papers arrived from Ministry of Interior in Riyadh ... still there was something left to be done .. we had to give an ad in a local newspaper that I have changed my name ... for 100 riyals again .... I know these are government rules but some of them are plain rubbish.

Anyway, the papers got accepted and I went for a first try ... it was a Camry... huh... piece a' cake .. i thought ... i did everything right .... but that AH gave be "B" .... which meant i had to take 5 days classes .... which is whole another story ... i passed the final test comfortably ... and I was given a date to come and collect my license.

I complied ... it was like surmounting an Everest ... and i was glad its over .... when i received my licence it read (read carefully):

Name: MUHAMMAD MUSTAF MUKHTAR HUSSAIN