Choose Your Words Carefully

Here are some of the words which mean differently in Arabic ....

1.) BANDAR ..... its a popular name in Saudi Arabia meaning "Beautiful" .... We even have a Prince Bandar Bin Talal ... lol

2.) GADA ..... it means "A Respectful Person" ... See how things could get messed up ...

3.) GANDOOR ....... its also a name ... a last name .... u can go "Hey Gandoo" and no one will frown or kill u :)

4.) KHASM ..... it means "To Discount or To Reduce" ... with us it means Spouse right!!

5.) NEK ..... First lets look at its Urdu meaning "A Virtuous Person" ... in arabic it means "To F***"

Yup .... so choose ur words carefully here ... I will add more of these ...

My Company Contact

I have a problem with my cell number ... my company contact ... if u will ..

In the beginning, for almost a month I used my personal mobile for work purposes .... I had put a request for a laptop and a company mobile ... I didn't get the laptop :(

A guy quit from our department and his cell was handed to me ... I was relieved cuz it was actually costing me quite a bit to make those official calls ... I turned on the cell and a shower of sms came pouring in ... most of them were ads of malls, mobile companies etc. but then i started receiving calls from banks Saudi British Bank, Saudi Fransi Bank, Saudi American Bank .... and those stupid Saudis .... they cant speak English ... so every single time the conversation goes like this:
Him: asalamualaium
Me: walaikum assalam
Him: ustaz muhammad (Sir Muhammad)
Me: muhammad min? (Muhammad Who?)
Him: muhammad talha kan (its Khan actually)
Me: indak rakam ghalat (You have the wrong number)
Him: ana asif (I Am Sorry)

Now you would be thinking why dont I explain the complete thing to them ... well I have ... I have tried myself and my Arab friends have also tried .... but I dont know they have like a 15 minutes conversation and the next day that same stupid voice ... I dont pick up most of the time ... I have even talked to the guy "Talha" and asked him to please spare me of this misery ...

But then one day I received a call from England and a lady with the sweetest voice was asking for Muhammad Talha Khan ... at first i thought i should say "Yes Speaking" but I enquired what was it about ... it was work so I deemed better not meddle with it. I explained everything and offered if she wanted his new number ... " That would be very nice of you, Sir" ... ufff ...

Then one day i received a call from Dubai ... it was a Hilton Hotel rep ... so I took full advantage ... You know how these reps work ... Chamme Style .. She was like a robot ... You can have this membership .. you can have that suite ... you can have a special honeymoon package ... and I was just playing along ... "Yeah my wife is quite a moody person and we already have had our honeymoon" " Where?" "Switzerland" .... I even got her cell number ... and promised to call her right away when I and my wife come to Dubai next time ... huh!!

Another day I was coming back from work and was in a bad mood ... and this unknown number was bugging me ... maybe its someone i know ... so i answered .... and he went
Him:"Kaisa hai bay!!"
Me:"Kaun?"
Him:"Acha ab hamain bhi bhool gaya"
Me:"Kis say baat karni hai aap ko?"
Him:"Talha ?"
Me:"Main Talha nahe hoon"
Him: "Yar Talha mazak mat kar"
Me: "Meray tone say aap ko lag raha hai keh main mazak kar raha hoon?"

Now I am so relieved that my company number is blocked because of my over-the-limit usage.

The 1st Week Alone!

My parents have left for Pakistan and I am all alone in the house. For most part of the day, I dont feel any change as I am at work and everything is routine. But when I get home, the first thing which pops up is "What am I going to eat?" My mom has left some curries in the freezer ... but nooo... I have to go out or order something... all this week has passed this way...

Before leaving they advised me of many things .... dont leave the window open , check the stove, turn off any electrical appliance before leaving the house , take care of the keys etc ... and I was like .... mom dad this is not the first time I am living alone .. I am not a baby .... I can handle it ....

So, the second day ... I was leaving for work ... got my wallet .. got my cell ... flash drive (so very very important) ... lets go ...the moment i stepped out ... i realized i had left the keys inside ... both the apartment and the car ... and my mom's words came back to me "I will give the spare keys to Bushra Auntie just in case or keep a spare key in your wallet or anywhere else" and I said there is no need for any of it ... I can take care of everything!!

I knew she hadn't given the keys to anyone but to make sure I texted my dad " Have you or mom given any spare key to any of our neighbours?" He called right away " Tumhara Dimagh to Nahe Kharab ho gaya? ..... ....... ....... ....." I could not deal with it that time so I called a friend to pick me up ... When I got back I had two ideas ..... bring a ladder long enough to reach upto the kitchen window but I wasnt sure it is open so I had to go to the locksmith .... he broke the old one and fixed a new one ....

This is just one example ... one night I went out to bring dinner ... it was grilled chicken with rice its called "Ruz Bukhari" .... when I came back ... there was no chicken in the bag .... I ate that rice with hot dogs .... the apartment is a mess ... i sleep in all the rooms .. the TV is on all night .... glasses with pepsi in it ... i have to do something about this situation!

How Arabs Eat

Have you ever seen an Arab eating rice ... ofcourse u haven't ...

Having worked among Arabs Egyptians, Saudis, Yemenis, Palestinians etc. for almost a year now i have gone for lunch with them many a times ... and i found their way of eating, rice in particular, very strange .. we all know its according to the Sunnah to eat with your right hand and there is one Hadith which says to eat in small bites, if i am not wrong ..

They are ok with the first part but small bites ... no ... either i am wrong or they havent heard of this Hadith ... they dont eat using their fingers .. they use the whole palm of their hand... what we eat in three bites .. is one bite for them ... and the strangest thing is , its common in all Arabs

I went out with a Saudi guy, he had studied in London and spoke English fluently, which is very rare here, and he dressed nicely and evrything ... but when he started eating.. it was like he is eating for the last time .. i mean .. it was totally barbaric ...

Real Time World Statistics

It says on this site that it is "managed by an international team of developers, researchers, and volunteers with the goal of making world statistics available in a thought-provoking and time relevant format to a wide audience around the world. "

"Sources are carefully selected to include only data published by the most reputable organizations and statistical offices in the world."

"The counters that display the real-time numbers are based on Worldometers’ algorithm that processes the latest and most accurate statistical data available together with its estimated progression to compute the current millisecond number to be displayed on each counter based on the specific time set on each visitor’s computer clock. "

Cool stuff huh! You can suggest a statistic for the next month. My suggestion was "Amount of food wasted every day".

Holy Crap!!

Once in a while I visit this place called Old Airport Area .... its mostly empty .... only a bunch of people here and there ... having huqqa , taking a walk etc. Its very peaceful there ....

It was very hectic today at work .... I had to go there .... so I was listening to the radio and just reclining in the seat and relaxing in the light breeze .... when I felt need for a smoke .... but I didnt have a lighter neither does my car lighter work .....

Seeing a car at a driving distance, I thought why not ask its owner .... It was a little dark there .... so I couldnt see clearly .... only a person squatting near the hood ..... I very slowly drove close to his car ... the man was staring at me all this time .. motionless .... then he flinched and did something with his hands in a quick motion .. . what was he doing? the guy was taking a shit!!

I moved onwithout coming to a complete stop.

Tere Bin

I was coming to work today in a friend's car and he was playing all of Atif's songs ... Tere Bin , Ham Kis Gali Ja Rahay Hain etc. and instantly I remembered a memorable trip we had in our University.

We planned to go to some Water Sport Park which was outside Karachi and Uzair said he knew the route very well. We rented a car on a Sunday morning and everyone was ready in no time. Awais and Ubaid were on Ubaid's bike.

The trip was long and with "Ham Kis Gali Ja Rahain Hain" playing it seemed longer. We had an incident with the Tullas where the driver did not have licence ... but our Navy cards saved the day ....

We kept driving and Uzair kept saying "Just a little bit more ... I know the place like the back of my hand" and after driving like this for at least 2 hours we reached a place where the urdu alphabets were not used ... ok i am being too dramatic ... it was Sindhi but it was weird ... we had reached Thatta ... damn you Syed Uzair Rafat!!

Anyway we decided to eat something .... what could we get to satisy our hunger without wasting much time .. fruit, biscuits and stuff ... there for the first time in my life I saw fake money being used .. ON US! ... ok .. after filling ourselves drive back to that Mystery Land ....

Half way back we found that Park ... and someone had pointed out that this is it but Uzair ....
But we were glad that we finally made it ... Little did we know what was in store for us ..... we got down ... got ready... "The Park is closed till April" were the first words of the guard ...

All in all .. a great trip and I have Atif Aslam to thank for making it so memorable.